dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I would ride that face into the sunset
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
