Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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