OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
