I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
