I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
two words: eviction party
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
