Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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