Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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