I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
