i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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