Having a random hookup so left but love u
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
