she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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