Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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