So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
handjob tips. give me some.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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