apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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