there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
