What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
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They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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