We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
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