I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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