You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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