At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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