Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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