My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
