How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
