I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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