I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
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