the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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