i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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