my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
