I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
