you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Barsexuality is the new black.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
