sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
