He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
