words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
