I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
