hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize