I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
my poor anus
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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