I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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