Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize