you would pick up someone in the library
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
