I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
