If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
