Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
