On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
