your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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