from now on my penis is your penis
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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