did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
