My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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