Define "chronic" masturbator.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize