There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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