she was so not down for the gang bang
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
