You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
