six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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