You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
