I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
