Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
