Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
