My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
