I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
